By Bon8
I have formulated a cunning plan. Not evil in any way, unless of course you are a local Pom, (cue evil laugh) mwaaahahahah. I have been very patient and have ever so slowly been executing my plan right under their very noses. Mwaaahahahah… (sorry about that, I just get so excited)!
However, I have decided that in order for my brilliant plan to reach its full potential I require assistance. Not just anyone, though. No – they must be Aussies! Men or women above the age of 17 and generally healthy. When you join me, my Aussie minions, you will feel the greatness that is the greatest gift of all and together we will bring about change like never before on these shores of Blighty. Mwaaahahahah. As the Australian Team enters the Olympic Stadium you will witness every Team GB supporter rise as one to greet the Aussie Team as if they where family.
Of course they will not know why this has happened as it’s all part of my cunning plan. However they will not be able to control it! They will scream and cheer the Aussies on the field and in the pool. They will arrive dressed in green and gold oblivious as to the transformation that has happened to them. Mwaaahahahah. I have been secretly planning and working on this for two years. Little by little – chipping away – inch by inch, planning for the culmination of national confusion and support for their old enemy.
But why stop here? Together we could be unstoppable! The Ashes next year could see the Barmy Army singing ‘Waltzing Matilda’ over and over all day long and Rolf Harris elected as Mayor of London. So here is my plan. You need to listen carefully, and this cannot be repeated, to anyone!
My plan is: to give blood. Give as much as you can. There are places all over the UK where you can give blood. But not just any blood. Aussie blood! They will never suspect it. And it’s the only way to get Aussie blood coursing through the veins of ordinary English men and women Mwaaaahahaha.
So seriously, get on it Team Oz. The Blood Bank is in desperate need. With a huge influx of teams, tourists and families arriving in London to celebrate what is without doubt the greatest show on earth, hospitals will be under heavy pressure to keep supplies topped up. 96% of us rely on the other 4% to give blood. So join me to fulfill my cunning plan and do something truly amazing – get some Aussie in ‘em. For further details of ‘the plan’ – check it out at Blood.co.uk
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[ Source: Australian Times ]