EMBARRASSING for everyone! That’s the only way I can describe this all too common situation that has been affecting me of late.
So, a mate’s dad Geoff drops in for a big family and friends BBQ at my place. He has that little boy look on his face – that look of excitement and expectation. He pulls me a side and says, “I’ve got something special for you gov”. Grinning wildly, he then pulls a four pack of Foster’s tinnys out of a bag and hands them to me.
Now I have a problem. Because this guy really wants to impress me with his gift; this is man to man, a moment where two different blokes can share something special. Foster’s. He knows that all Aussies dream of Foster’s every night, we bathe in it, it rains Foster’s in the Wet Tropics and a tear will present itself at the corner of my eye when he hands them to me. We will be forever friends welded together by this moment.
I don’t ever remember drinking Foster’s! If I try really hard, I think I can muster a memory of my grandpa sitting on the back of the boat at Bonnie Doon in 1972, with a king brown of Foster’s in his hand. But that’s it.
So, what do you say? Do you slap him on the back and thank him on behalf of all the Aussies in the world? Because, of course, this gift will ensure our two countries remain friends and allies eternally. Or do you laugh and ridicule his knowledge of anything Australian? You tell him he really is a fool, this is in fact the biggest insult he can make to me to me and his misguided attempt to win me over has fuelled an argument that will spill into the backyard and disrupt the salad makers, scaring the kids, and generally ensuring the neighbours consider putting their houses on the market in the near future.
What do you do? It’s the thought that counts, isn’t it? Too late, he reads between the lines, he sees the look of shock on my face. It’s that moment, uncomfortable, embarrassing but curiously bonding. I put my arm around him and explain that we need to brush up on his Aussie culture and he really is in the right place for that. We agree that the Foster’s can can go the bottom of the esky and will be used as emergency beers.
As he begins to question everything he has ever seen on TV, he is angry that he’s been duped again but thanks me for my honesty. Bloody hell, what a mess.
So, as predicted, the esky dried up later that night and the Foster’s cans came into play. As it happens, the experience wasn’t too not bad. “Cheers Geoff,” I say, raising the blue tinny. Geoff smiles broadly and enquires, “so what’s happening in Home & Away?” It’s only then that I realise the bastard set me up from the beginning… “Stupid Aussie git,” Geoff laughs heartedly. Now, that’s the special relationship that we all love so much!
Read about: Do I feel more Aussie since leaving Australia? – A Pom’s view
[ Source: Australian Times ]